DIY iPad Screen Replacement

Okay, mommies...

For those of you who are Mac-obsessed (like me,) I know I'm not the only one who's let their kiddos play with their iPads against their better judgement. 

I mean, really ... who can say no to those little faces when they ask you to share your "toys?"

And with that comes the risk of something we all dread: a dropped iPad. Replacing an iPad screen through Apple's services can cost you anywhere from 200-400 dollars. OUCH!

When my daughter dropped my iPad and I saw the spiderweb of cracks that covered the screen, I wanted to cry. But luckily I have a fearless husband who joined forces with me, and together we decided to attempt to tackle the replacement ourselves, after doing some research.

We bought our iPad screen HERE. (I have the iPad 2, but you can find your generation as well!) 

Before getting started, we first watched this video. Again - this video is for the iPad 2. But there are videos out there for each generation! This is just to give you a basic idea of what you're in for.

We were really nervous about breaking something as we started our replacement project, but here's what we found:

-If you use an "Exacto" type of knife or razor blade and slide it between the screen and the body of the iPad, simply avoiding the areas near the "Home" button and the "Volume" buttons, this process will go much faster, and you'll avoid shattering your screen even worse, and having little shards of glass go flying.

-The wi-fi tab is pretty obvious and easy to disconnect. Likewise, if you're careful, using your fingers near the "danger" zones where there are cables, etc, you should be fine while replacing the screen.

-It's really easy to end up with unidentifiable specks or smudges behind your new screen. I cannot stress enough that the most important thing you can do is spend the necessary time examining all aspects of the display, prior to adhering the new screen to the body of the iPad.

-The adhesive that comes with the replacement screen isn't very strong. Look into buying separate, stronger adhesive. But be aware that whatever you use may have to be removed if the screen shatters again down the road. We read a few reviews on the product site where we bought our screen that boasted of using SUPERGLUE to adhere the new screen to the iPad body. YIKES!! (Don't do that!!)

At the end of the day, we were thrilled with the results. We spent $25 and spent 2 hours replacing a shattered screen that Apple wanted to charge $200-400 to replace!!

Good luck, mommies! 

If you have questions about replacing your iPad, comment below and I'll try to help you based on my experience with my hubbie replacing ours.

Hoping you have a Merry Christmas,

This Blogging Mommy

The Truth About Your Days As a Brand New Mom

Let me start out by saying that this article is not for everyone.

If you looked at your baby the moment after she was born and thought to yourself, "This is love and I adore this child more than anyone I've ever adored before," well ... this article isn't for you.

If you lived your first weeks as a new mommy in a haze of happiness, this isn't for you.

If you slipped back into your pre-baby jeans before waltzing out of the hospital two days after delivering, baby in arm and beatific smile on your face, THIS ISN'T FOR YOU.

This article is for you other mommies.

You know, the ones who bawled their way through the first two weeks of caring for a new child that you could've sworn you were totally ready for.

The ones who nod with a dazed expression on their face when people say things like, "Isn't being a mom the best thing ever? Isn't it totally impossible to imagine your life without your new little man in it?"

Because here's the thing: 

That was me.

After I had my first child, I lay there in my hospital bed, catheter in, feeling like I had just been hit by a semi.

Nobody prepared me for what waking up every 2 hours would feel like. (Let me clue you in - it's a slow, painful descent into insanity.)

I wasn't ready for the pain of attempting to breastfeed, for the feeling of being so much ... bigger than I used to be.

Everyone told me I would fit right back into my pre-baby clothes, because I was so tiny and all baby.

And NOONE, NOONE warned me that I might become depressed.

I'm not talking about being a little bummed because I was tired or overwhelmed. 

I'm talking about being deeply depressed.

I'm talking about

Postpartum Depression.

The thing is that everyone gave me the fantasy version of motherhood.

I heard things like:

-You'll instantly fall in love with your new baby.

-It's so amazing and you'll never be able to imagine what your life would be like without them once they're in your arms.

-Motherhood is instinctual and you'll just "know what to do" when the time comes.

-The weight will just melt right off.

The problem is that this isn't necessarily true.

I love my children more than anything. But when both of them were born, I spent the first few months in a dazed state, trying to cope.

I didn't magically know what to do. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that motherhood is a learning process, a lesson in trial and error.

Despite being so tiny, I didn't fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes for a long time. And I never fit back into some of them.

Motherhood wasn't amazing for me at first. I experienced intense hormone withdrawals and severe depression as I struggled to understand what my life had become with the presence of a child, what my body looked like with the new addition of loose skin and stretch marks.

And most importantly ...

I didn't instantly fall in love with my baby.

I know.

What a terrifying concept.

Here was this little person that screamed all the time and needed me, and it was my job to magically figure out what those needs were.

I was sleep-deprived, hormone-deprived, and barely functioning.

I remember looking at my baby and thinking, "Why did I do this? And how do I make it stop?"

There was no magic moment where the Hallelujah Chorus began playing and I looked down upon my babe in utter wonder, unless you're counting the times when she fell asleep in my arms and I spent a brief moment thanking God for a break from it all before zonking out underneath her.

But lest you think I'm trying to scare you off from motherhood, let me give you the good news:

IT GETS BETTER.

Your baby starts sleeping more.

You eventually get back into a jean size you can live with.

The post-delivery pain goes away.

You adjust to the lack of hormones.

As your baby grows, you DO form that essential bond. You get to a point where you look at that precious bundle of joy and think, "I can't imagine my life without this child. I love her so much."

It just doesn't always happen at first sight.

I wish I'd honestly believed that what I was going through was normal, instead of convincing myself that something was wrong with me.

I am a great mother.

But postpartum depression had me thinking I was somehow a failure.

So if you're like me, struggling to make it through the day and wondering what you got yourself into and when things will get better, trust me when I say that motherhood is an adjustment.

It takes time to get used to a new baby. Give yourself that time.

Look into getting on some meds temporarily, until the hormone crash subsides.

And be patient with yourself.

Love and Blessings as you discover the joy of the journey of motherhood,

This 

Blogging 

Mommy

Mommy Knows Best ...

There are so many people out there today that want to give unsolicited advice on how to parent. You can't enter a supermarket without the lady behind you telling what you're doing wrong, or go to a family get-together without someone reminding you of "how they did things" with their own kids.

I've gotten to a point in my own journey as a parent where I finally have the strength to stand up and say it ...

MOMMY KNOWS BEST!

Nobody knows their child better than that child's mother (or father.) And NOBODY, I repeat NOBODY has the right to dictate how a child should be raised other than that parent.

Parenting is a beautiful journey of trial, error, prayer, tears, and rejoicing. And there are certainly times where you'll find yourself turning to a close friend, or maybe even your own mother, and saying, "What would you do?"

But there is a huge difference between asking for advice, and having unsolicited advice cheerfully shoved down your throat ... the former is a gift, a beautiful exchange of wisdom and love, and the latter ... well it's nothing more than

CRITICISM.

When Aunt Martha comes in and tells you, "You don't let your girls play with makeup? My girls were allowed to wear their little Disney makeup by the time they were 8. It's just innocent fun," what she's really doing is undermining your right to make decisions for your own child.

And worst of all, it's Aunt Martha, who's watched you grow up and even changed your diapers. You can't just turn around and say what you REALLY want to say, which is, 

"Well, Aunt Martha, isn't that so nice. But I want better things for my daughters than to learn at a young age that their physical beauty is the most important thing about them, or that they're nothing but sex symbols at 5 years of age."

Yea. That's a big no-no, regardless of how tempting that comeback may seem.

The truth is that often times, it is absolutely the people closest to us that so definitively undermine our authority as parents, because they feel comfortable with us. They aren't as afraid of pushing the boundaries and they aren't as careful to respect your authority, because of that comfort.

In a perfect world, you could calmly confront the people in your life who are trying to do your parenting for you, and they'd apologize and back off. Afterwards, you'd relax back on the chaise lounge you were sitting on in your backyard, surrounded by mosquito netting and the fragrant smell of honeysuckle and roses as little Jackson smiles up at you from the book he's reading to you, saying, "Mommy, you're so smart. I'm so grateful to have you as my mom."

We can all dream, ladies.

In reality, when you try to nicely confront your mother about how you know she loves Mary Sue but she just can't give her panties from Victoria's Secret, because no matter how "cute" those little lace-fringed boy-shorts are, they are way too sexual for your 13 year old daughter, your mother isn't going to understand. She's going to get defensive, offended, and argue with you.

And when that inevitable encounter happens, I really hope you take a page from a very difficult lesson I've learned ... oh heck, that I'm STILL learning. When it happens, I hope you reinforce those parental boundaries with the following statement:

"Mommy knows best. I'm the mommy, and I know best what is appropriate for my children. I appreciate the thought, but I'm not okay with... (my daughter wearing sexier panties than I do now at 13 years old.")

Feel free to insert in the blank whatever inappropriate gift you're protesting for whatever child you're trying your darndest to protect or raise into a respectful, responsible human being.

Trust me when I say that if you don't start enforcing that particular present rule early on, you'll find yourself stressed out, frustrated, and feeling resentful of Grammy for buying Jimmy a ridiculously expensive pair of Adidas you insisted no 7 year old boy needed, or for buying Sheila that teeny tiny mini skirt she'd been begging YOU to get her for months.

As much as the loved ones in your child's life want to spoil them, spoiling should not come at the expense of your rules. Gosh, when I think of all the prayers, tears, and thought that have gone into the rules I've created for my children, I feel an overwhelming certainty of God's hand in my parenting. 

And woe awaits anyone who tries to get in the way of that.

So remember ... when unsolicited advice-givers start banging down your door with more persistence than those pesky magazine salespeople during the summer months ...

MOMMY. KNOWS. BEST.

Prayers for you and your journeys of motherhood,

This Blogging Mommy

How to Prepare Butternut Squash

I know I've said it a million times ...

I am not domesticated.

But believe it or not, occasionally I can master a culinary wonder that leaves people asking how it's done. And one of the things I've had people ask me is how I prepare butternut squash.

I know. Bask in my awesomeness.

But in all seriousness, for those of you who have been daunted by the large, beige THING you walk past in the supermarket, fear no more. I shall crack open its secrets.

First things first:

Cut that baby in half lengthwise.

Voila!!

Now, using a metal spoon, scoop out the seeds and stringy substance from the bottom portion of the butternut squash.

After all the seeds are scooped out, place the squashes skin-side up in a shallow pan and fill with about an inch of water. (I personally use a shallow pyrex dish.)

These guys were grown in my garden, and they are some of the smaller squashes we produced, so we did two.

Now ... put the squashes in your oven on 350 degrees.

Put the timer on for 20-30 minutes.

The time needed depends on the size of the squash, but you'll know they're done when you can easily stick a fork through the tough outer skin.

After they're done, let them cool for about 5 minutes, then scoop the soft flesh out of the skin and mash it up with a little butter or margarine.

And you have sweet, amazing butternut squash that your kids will love.

(Or at least mine do!)

A Slightly Delayed and Different Take on the VMAs

I have to tell you ... I withheld comment on much of the Miley Cyrus/Robin Thicke whirlwind when it happened. I'm somewhat of an observer. I tend to sit back, take it all in, and slowly form an opinion. I don't like going off half-cocked without really thinking things through.

I don't particularly care about being "the first" to talk about something. I care about being right, and being well-spoken.

So it's now, as things are starting to die down, that I have something to say as a mother, about the travesty that took place at the VMAs.

I'm not going to comment much on the actual performance. That's been done to death, and I think we all know what the general population thinks about the "artistry" of the collaboration between Thicke and Cyrus.

What I am going to comment on is the music itself.

Yes, the music. Because the VMAs were celebrating what was arguably the summer's biggest pop hit - a song about a guy who essentially wants to corrupt what he considers to be a "good girl." 

It's about going too far - a guy dancing along the gray line between right and wrong, and feeling like maybe he crossed what, for him, has become a blurred line of morality.

Some people have argued it's about date rape. 

It's definitely about tossing traditional conventions like marriage aside in favor of embracing your animal instincts with no boundaries or consequences.

What could possibly be right about that?

Mothers: I know I'm not alone when I say that beyond the gyrating, foam finger-biting, and general jackassery that took place on the VMA stage, I absolutely do not want my children idolizing a song that so greatly disrespects something as beautiful as marriage.

I can't say that I'm surprised at Robin Thicke's nerve. I mean, this is a man who has made tabloid news for his rumored open marriage. The words "open" and "marriage" go together about as well as "mayo" and "heat wave." 

The whole concept of marriage is to commit to love, honor, AND BE FAITHFUL to one person, for you know ... EVERY DAY, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Ok - moving on to the other song in that collaboration. Miley's summer song is all about partying. And when I say partying, I mean drinking, dancing, doing drugs, and to put it like Miley herself, "doing whatever you want." It flaunts the thought that anyone who would try to tell you that you're doing something wrong is just a "hater" who is trying to judge you.

Wrong, wrong wrong. Just ... no.

Is it any wonder that with messages like these, and lyrics that so completely flaunt the type of behavior most people would consider to be indecent and inappropriate, that we would witness something as totally devoid of a single iota of self-respect as what we saw on the VMA stage?

I've got to tell you: there is nothing "judgy" about telling someone that their behavior is wrong. Welcome to the real world, where we as a society have absolutely created a standard of behavior that we expect others to uphold. And when they fail to do so, we put them in jail, rehab, mental institutions, etc. 

Moreover, I reject the notion that my children should grow up with the concept that they can do whatever they want. 

Miley - you weren't spanked enough by the RIGHT sort of people. Namely, your parents.

    Robin - clearly you have no concept of what marriage means. 

If I had any doubt based solely off of your lyrics (I didn't,) your utter disdain and disregard of what the term "husband" means was made excruciatingly clear when you allowed another woman to grind her rear against your groin on National TV in a disgusting display known as "twerking."

Here's the real question that I pose to mothers out there: 

why would you listen or worse, let your children listen to songs like these?

How are these the hits of the summer? Because I've gotta tell you: nobody should've been surprised by the show we were given at the VMAs, based on the lyrics of the songs and the lives led by the artists themselves. Why is it that NOW the world is all aflutter at the lack of basic decency shown by these singers?

The very fact that this is being touted as "art" makes me concerned for the future of music. As a musician, I reject the notion that Miley Cyrus is on par with artists like Sara Bareilles, Ingrid Michaelson, and Michael Buble.

So as a mother, I've challenged myself to take the only step that really matters: I'm boycotting Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke.

This is especially painful for Miss Cyrus. I remember the days when she had a smidgeon of decency, and I loved her song "The Climb." I never much cared for Robin Thicke, but I watched Miley grow up, go through her awkward teen years, and devolve into what she has chosen to become as an "artist."

But here's the thing: I can't support someone whose message is now so fundamentally lacking in morality.

Moreover, I can't let that message through my speakers and into my children's innocent, impressionable ears. It is that very thinking that is at the root of teenaged pregnancy, addiction, and divorce.

So - above and beyond what happened at the VMAs, I reject the music being touted as popular and "hit-worthy."

Robin Thicke, you may have trouble discerning lines, but I certainly don't. And you've crossed them with your latest "hit."

Miley Cyrus, maybe you can't stop, but I can certainly stop you from influencing my children. 

So when your songs come on the radio, I'll be changing the station. And when I see you performing on TV, I'll change the channel. I won't buy any of your songs. My children won't own your posters or go to your concerts. 

Period.

Why I Chose Homeschooling

As some of you may know, I do a school program that utilizes 

part-time homeschooling.

Growing up, I heard a LOT of negative things about homeschooling. I heard:

- Homeschooling produces socially awkward kids that are just plain "weird."

- Kids that try to go to public school after being homeschooled are "behind the curve" or not up to the curriculum standard for their grade level.

- Homeschooling is REALLY hard. You get no break from your children!

- Kids that are homeschooled don't get to do the same extracurricular activities or sports that they get to do at public school.

These are just a few of the things people have told me about homeschooling, in an effort to really cement that teaching out of your home was a huge mistake.

And then I had kids.

And when people asked me where I was planning on sending them to school, I kept thinking to myself, "I can't imagine sending them anywhere that many days a week, for that long!" 

How would I know if they were struggling in school?

What if they were bullied, picked on, or pressured into doing something by their peers?

My kids were impressionable. 

Innocent.

...and I was not ready to just hand them over to a series of strangers for educational and emotional molding.

They were my responsibility.

Suddenly that homeschooling option looked really good. Who better to teach my children than I? I knew their limitations, how best to approach a subject. Nobody would be more attentive to my child's needs than I.

But I did want my children to be socialized...

So I found a school that utilized part-time classroom education, and part-time homeschool education.

The teachers provided the lesson plans for the "home" days.

The biggest obstacle to overcome was my own fear.

Once I did that, homeschooling became SO much fun. I found joy in teaching my child new things. I loved having two days a week where she got to go to school, hang with her friends, and do extracurricular activities like art, music, and PE. 

I especially loved that her faith wasn't a taboo subject.

She was encouraged to pray, to learn about God, sin, and choosing right from wrong. She received a full education on those days. Instead of simply being told what to know, she is taught what to know and who to be. The truth is this - what good is it to know everything if you don't have a clue about what it takes to be a good person? That can't be taught in the context of Science, or Mathematics. That's something that is taught through modeling a child's actions, through encouraging and teaching them to be Christ-like.

My child started first grade yesterday, at 5 years old.

Today was her first homeschool day.

And hearing her say, "Mommy, this is just like school. It's so fun, and I love it," as we learned about groups and sub-groups, cemented that not only can homeschooling be done, it can be the best choice.

My child isn't weird.

She's ahead of public school's "curriculum standards." Having a school and excellent teachers that I'm accountable to really helps on that front.

Yes, homeschooling IS hard sometimes. But it's rewarding, and I view it as part of my job as a mother. 

School isn't designed to give me a break from my children. 

Its purpose is to educate them, and help mold them into intelligent, moral, and responsible adults.

Finally, she gets to do so much fun stuff, and spends tons of time with other kids, both in her "classroom" days, and outside of school. She took swim lessons this summer. She's learning to sing. We're looking into ballet classes. She takes art, music, and PE on her "classroom" days.

As parents, we've bought into this lie that we can't provide a "proper" education for our children without sending them to a government-run institution, when the truth is that art, music, and sports are not only available within a school classroom setting. It's just easier to provide it there. But that doesn't make it better.

It's pretty simple. Once I looked at the facts, and the options available, I realized that for us, homeschooling was the better choice. 

And so I chose to homeschool.

Just A Mommy Rant

I took my kids to their well-check appointments today.

(Cue angry music and elevated blood pressure.)

Why do I go in expecting a normal experience? You know, one where your child's vitals are tested, the doctor lets me ask whatever questions I need to in order to get my yearly build-up of worries out of my system, and makes sure my kids aren't suffering from some previously undiagnosed physical ailment or mental disability?

That doesn't happen.

When I go into the doctor's office, this is what I can generally expect:

-The nurse and/or doctor will talk to me like I'm a moron, insinuating that I don't know my children's rear ends from their heads.

-I will be treated as a liar when I fill out my child's progress chart and insist that yes, she can do the aforementioned activities.

-Finally, my children will be asked the dreaded question. The one that never fails to send me into a total rage.

"Do you feel safe in your home, honey?"

The nurse shot this question by my 3 year old. 

First of all, because my child is three, and in a safe home, she doesn't even know what the heck you're talking about. 

So of course, she got a blank look on her face. But because ALL attention was on her, cue the theatrics. 

She smiled, and said, "Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." for about thirty seconds straight, leaving the nurse on the edge of her seat, waiting for the answer. 

She proceeded to say "Nnnnn... um ... yuuuuuuuuhhhh..." as though deciding whether or not she felt safe.

No answer. So ... cue the leading questions. 

Nurse: "Do you feel happy with mommy and daddy?"

(Response: Ummmmm...no.)

Me: (Fighting my temper) "Are you a silly girl?"

(Response: Yah! Giggle, giggle.)

Me: (Trying to prove a point now...)

"Do you want to live with mommy and daddy?"

(Response: Ummmm .... No.)

Me: "Oh really? Do you want to live in the zoo?"

(Response: NO. Giggle, giggle.)

Me: "Well then, where do you want to live?"

(Response: At home with just Lexi!)

At this point, the nurse had gotten my message, but just in case, I really drove it home by saying, "I'm sorry. I really don't think she understands your question. And sorry, Ellison, but you can't live at home alone with Alexa. That's called child negligence."

Way to go, NM healthcare, for trying to fix a big issue in society today with a totally worthless question.

Here's the problem, as I see it.

We are SO focused on the "safety" of children, that we are missing a few crucial details:

1. Most children who ARE being abused don't feel comfortable answering that sort of question honestly, especially in front of their parents.

2. The children who ARE in safe homes more than likely don't even understand your question, because we as parents generally try to ... you know ... shield our children from those unsavory truths about the world we live in. Especially when our children are three years old.

3. Even if a child did answer in the affirmative, most parents present are going to jump in with leading questions or uncomfortable jokes explaining away the response.

4. FINALLY ... most of your nurses are completely unprepared for a young child's response in the affirmative, especially if it happens in front of their parents. Do you really think Nurse Susie is going to take my three year old's word that she doesn't feel safe at home? Are you really that confident that she'll confront me on the issue, on the word of my child?

The truth (in my opinion,) is that asking this question, especially of young children, is a waste of time. Not to mention potentially insulting.

Do I have a fix for this problem? No. There are some telltale signs that a child is being abused, but domestic abuse is always going to be a difficult issue to resolve. But here is what I do know:

Asking children if they feel safe at home during a well-check visit isn't really a viable solution.

So just ... stop. Stop with the ridiculousness. Because if you asked my three year old child on a minute-to-minute basis how she "felt," about me and our home, you'd probably get varying answers, based on whether she got to paint with watercolors or pick the movie she was watching.

End Mommy Rant.

If you or someone you know has been abused, or needs help, here is a viable way you can get it: 

Call the abuse hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE, or go here.